When parenting today’s youth, do you feel guardians should negotiate with children?
My way or the highway is the kind of life tactics that doesn’t really work in any aspect of life. Parenting is no different especially with it comes to parenting children in the era of the social media and free spirit. Some parents may feel like “old school” parenting practices are the best when it come to raising today’s youth. Others may feel as if they should allow their children to be free to make their own mistakes. Truth is, parenting is no easy task and no one has written a fail-safe book for every child. Children like crayons are all different and should be parented in accordance to families values but also paired with negotiating methods as well.
Parents: What Would You Do?
Your twelve-year-old daughter/son comes home after his/her last day of school (start of summer break) visibly excited. Mom/Dad like seven of my classmates are taking the bus (public transportation) to the mall and movies this weekend. Can I take the bus with them to the mall and to see a movies this Saturday afternoon, please?!?!
The child has never been on a social outing alone but she/he is beyond excited about becoming a teenager in a few months and hanging out on their own with friends.
Is the answer no right off? Do you negotiate with the child, suggesting you drive or chaperone the trip? Some parents may feel like a twelve-year-old shouldn’t have a social life and others may have already allowed their child this kind of freedom and set no boundaries. If parents negotiate the terms of how the child behaves and or matures the child will eventually learn to make safe choices independently.
Hi Pamela, as a mother and former stepmother of teenagers I understand the importance of striking a balance between establishing boundaries and an “open door” policy with your child. I think a parents parenting style should evolve but not lose the traditions that have proven through the generations to still work effectively if properly implemented. As far as this scenario, I think allowing the child to ride the bus with his/or her friends is okay as long as you follow behind for safety reasons especially, if that child has NO prior experience. Or a week or two before the dance the parent takes public transportation with the child to show them how to properly ride, caution them on possible distractions and give them a “test run” of the neighborhood they will be riding through. Protecting your child is every parents main concern, however, you would hate to alienate your child from their social surroundings which could lead to bullying as well. Thanks for this insightful piece!
Thank you Dominique for your comment! I think your position is one of great balance and I can defiantly agree and would use your tactic with my own children. I also feel that parents shouldn’t loose their morals when parenting, however it has to be a give take situation in my opinion. Again thank you so very much for your comment and I hope to hear from you on other pieces in the future.